Henry and David
For the original audio version click here.
Scene one Mother Jones
INTRO MUSIC
Henry: [yawning as he emerges from his room]
David: Henry!
H-[yawn and stretch noises]What? Whats up man?
D-[sighs]
H-whatcha watchin?
D-Nothin’
H-Not watching anything?
D-no
H-You just happen to be looking in the general direction of the television.
D-ya, take a seat
H-ya, uh what time is it? My alarm clock didn’t go off, did the electricity go off?
D-one o’clock
H-one o’clock what?
D-afternoon, have a seat.
H-Hell I missed breakfast and lunch.
D-I got a bone to pick with you.
H-is there anything to eat?
D-Henry, I got a bone to pick with you man.
H-Whats that supposed to mean?
D-Number one, you sleep all day – you dont work
H-Hey man I just woke up
D-thats right you sleep all day
H-I don’t sleep all day, you said it was one o clock
D-That’s all day…you don’t work and…
H-Look man I’ve been working on a project
D-Ya what the fuck is in the front yard? I ran into it!
H-what do you mean you ran into it, it is huge and made of shiny metal how could you run into it?
D-It was the dark, I was drunk!
H-Well thats your fault for drinkin’ then!
D-what in the hell is that thing in the front yard?
H-you don’t know what that is?
D-NO!
H-its ART man!
D-Art?
H-ya, its art.
D-it’s a piece of shit
H-no man its art. You obviously don’t know fine art when you see it.
D-no, it was the dark.
H-well then you know hey it was your fault that it was dark.
D-and another thing, quit leaving the god damn door open
H-I didn’t leave it open
D-or unlocked, people can come in as they please
H-what and steal our fucking chipped up Buddha statue you talk to all the time
D-…and the TV to.
H-the TV, its not even our TV, its Susannas TV
D-ya, [sighs]
H-we got fast food sacks crinkled up in the corner, pizza boxes, mountain dew two liters all over the place, the place looks like shit you think someone is going to come in here and say: “hey, this is a great opportunity.”
D-maybe.
H-ya, a couple roaches maybe, hey when are you going to call the pest fucks? Theres been some big roaches in here, when are you going to take care of that?
D-When I get around to it.
H-Can I have some money? They are having a sale on Schlitz, I am going to get some for tonight, they are having a sale
D-Here, heres a five dollar bill now get out of here!
H-fine man, god! You need to calm down dude.
D-get out of here!
[Door shuts/dog barks]